Five Steps to Taking your Toddler to Mass:

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,” Jesus tells us.  In fact, he becomes indignant at disciples who hold children back from him. My husband and I have been awoken to God’s awe-striking graces each week when we are able to respectfully incorporate a more child-led approach of worship during Sunday Mass with our two toddler boys, ages three and a half and eighteen months.
 
Freedom within Loving Boundaries: God grants us free will, while also setting before us laws on how to live most joyfully and fully in the commandments and the Gospels
 
Our three-year-old son requests to sit upfront, but by the first or second reading wants to sprint down the aisle to the back of the church. My husband or I sit on the end, preventing his exit and offer him two choices that fit within our family rule that we do not run down the aisle.  Would you like to stand on the kneeler or would you like me to hold you?  He pushes into my legs, tugs at my skirt. Your choices are to stand on the kneeler or let me hold you.  True to the rebellious work of a three-year old initiating his own sense of self, he sits. 
 
At the sign of peace, I ask our son if he would like to shake one more person’s hand.  He points toward the back of the church. I have been duped, but I keep my word.  Holding him in my arms, I ask if he’d like to shake the hand of the lady in the pink scarf who is smiling at us a few pews back. I can hope, but, of course, he persists in pointing toward the back. What will I do if he points us out the back door or tries to squirm out of my arms to make a dash for the door?  My face flushes. I keep us on task: “Whose hand would you like to shake?”
 
With only five rows left, my toddler points to a dear, elderly man standing alone. I make eye contact with the man. As my toddler extends his hand and waits, I notice the man’s eyesight and reflexes have slowed.  He must be in his nineties. The word “Vet” is inscribed in his jacket.
 
I extend my hand confidently and say, “Peace be with you,” to cue the man.  He shakes my hand.  I nod toward my toddler. To him, we appeared as if an apparition. The man looks at me in disbelief. I nod, humbled that he seems to be asking for my permission.  He shakes my toddler’s hand.  My son’s smile glows with satisfaction and joy. The man’s eyes tear. I bow slightly, and my son and I return to our seats.
 
I can feel the man’s astonishment at being recognized. I can feel his waning presence resuscitate with vigor. I suspect we are the first two people all week to acknowledge his humanity. 
 
For all the embarrassment we endure to march two toddlers up to the front and let them scream off beat to “Alleluia,” there are these moments when God’s hand reminds me not to hinder the children and let them come to Jesus. At times, I watch our son appear, like an angel, to a person in need, and he reminds me to be Christ to our neighbor. To help the person next to me in the pew.
 
This week consider the following steps to take your children to Mass and be open to God’s plan:
 
Pre-Mass:
1. Be attentive to the context of your child.
Take a well-fed, well-rested child to Mass. Select the Mass time that best fits into your child’s daily rhythms, especially naptimes.
 
2. Set the stage before Mass.
Before Mass, try singing “Alleluia” in the car ride or walk to Church in order to cue your child where you are going. Inspire a celebratory mood with your favorite hymn. 
 
3. Spend their energy. Spend at least 15 or 20 minutes playing outdoors near the Church prior to Mass: Bring a ball and find a patch of grass, draw a hopscotch on the sidewalk, play at the school’s playground, or stand in the portico and sing “Singing in the Rain.”
 
I am a mother of two boys; if it’s raining, we’ll be in our raincoats, pants and boots and finding puddles to jump into. We often walk to Mass or park far enough away that we have a small hike prior to Mass. This leaves our boys ready to sit at the start of Mass.
 
During Mass:
4. Participate in Mass loudly. Pray for the courage and fortitude to let go of social inhibitions, too. It is seriously embarrassing to go with your child’s interest, but if you are participating and showing your child the Mass, the people around you will go from frowning to thanking you for bringing your children despite the noisiness of a child’s participation. We have just a few years where our child wants to participate joyfully and loudly. These are precious days.
 
5. Implement the parenting technique of allowing choice within loving boundaries.
Try giving two choices to your child that still uphold a family rule that is important to you and your family. 
 
After Mass:
Throughout the week, prioritize, as much as possible your child’s rhythms, talk about the upcoming Gospel story in a few words. And practice being firm in your No, but finding the Yes. 
 
“We use inside voices when Grandpap visits. If you would like to scream you may go outside or to your room.” Here is the rule. Here are your two choices that allow you freedom and help you to follow while continuing your work of play. Here is a positive way that you can do what you are doing.
 
There are people in the pews who will be touched by your hard work, your child’s engagement, and the work of the Holy Spirit alive in “the little children.”