The idea of becoming a Spiritan or pursuing a vocation outside of the married life had not struck me when I was younger. I was fortunate enough to meet the Spiritans while I was a student at Duquesne University. I was inspired by the various stories of Spiritans, both those who had worked in the U.S. and those who had worked abroad. I imagined myself doing the work of the congregation and finding a deep sense of purpose in it. I realized that this vocation would allow me to live life to the fullest, using the gifts God has given me and adhering to the two greatest commandments: “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind … You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mt 22:37-40). After some prayer and discernment, I decided to leave pharmacy school and join the Spiritans. I began my pre-novitiate, studying philosophy and health care supply chain management.
A vocation journey does not end by entering formation; it only finds new contexts and new expressions. I found the reasons that I stayed were not the same as the reasons why I joined. Discernment is not without struggle or discouragement. But, these periods are necessary. They are a part of how we grow and heal our wounds as humanity, how we become a better community of disciples as Church, and how we rediscover the path God is calling us to. To paraphrase one Spiritan working in Paraguay, we find, we lose, and we rediscover. Ultimately, to climb the mountain of the Lord is no easy task (Ps 24:3), though it is a task that requires being persistent, developing endurance, and, above all, responding to the love to which Christ beckons us.
These are not just spiritual matters either. When I joined, I wasn’t sure where I’d be doing my novitiate, but I was assigned to ministry in Chicago. I thought I’d be continuing my theological studies in Chicago initially, I ended up continuing them in Trinidad. Though unexpected, it has been a great joy! An openness to the action of the Holy Spirit allows us not only to seek and find God, but to be sought and found by Him. This helps us to discern our vocation.
If you are discerning a vocation, I suggest praying Spiritan Francis Mary Paul Libermann’s feather prayer, so that you may be as open as possible to Divine Providence:
“O divine Spirit,
I want to be before you like a light feather,
so that your breath may carry me where it will,
and that I may offer the least resistance to it.”
Pray and be ready to go where God leads. His plan leads to our greatest joy and happiness.