Two Lessons the Holy Spirit Taught Me

 At my parish, Sts. John and Paul, we just launched another season of Confirmation Preparation. The On Mission implementation gets closer by the day. I've been reflecting a lot lately on the Holy Spirit, what he's up to in our Diocese, and what he's been up to in my life. Two clear themes have emerged.
 

First, the Holy Spirit can do the impossible.

When I was a kid, I thought frequently about becoming a priest (spoiler alert: I'm happily married with four kids). The biggest obstacle I saw to that vocation was public speaking. It's an understatement to say I was deeply shy in elementary school. I was a straight-A student, but I could feel my face get flush at the thought of raising my hand in class to answer a question. There's no way I was going to speak to a church full of people several times every weekend.
 
But then I received a new outpouring of the Holy Spirit in Confirmation, and he brought with him a spiritual gift of teaching. It was rather raw and undeveloped at first. Luckily the Holy Spirit also had a development plan in mind involving witness talks in my high school youth group, serving as Newman Club President and leading Bible studies in college, and eventually being asked by my former high school principal to be a part-time teacher (what was she thinking?!). It turns out that working as a high school teacher for three years has been one of the best experiences of my life. I learned a lot about myself and how I can use the gifts God gave me. I gained confidence in those gifts. Now public speaking is one of my favorite aspects of my job. All from something the Holy Spirit had to push me into, at times against my will.
 

Second, the Holy Spirit brings order out of chaos.

On some level, my career in ministry has been chaotic. I moved on from my first position after two years when the parish lost funding due to the housing market bust. After a few years, I ended up moving my family to Ohio just a week after our first child was born (yes, I know now why that's not smart). After a year and half, we had to move back home for health reasons. I ended up selling insurance for two years and wondering why God had put me in this position just for following his lead through the doors he opened for me. I was even ready to give up on ministry and just reinterpret my gifts to apply to insurance sales.
 
But then the Holy Spirit led me to my current position. Suddenly the chaos of the previous seven years made perfect sense. Even the most painful experiences in that chaos had real and practical application and have born great fruit already. I felt what I imagine the Apostles felt on Pentecost when suddenly the pieces fell into place, they knew their mission, and the Holy Spirit drove them to pursue it with abandon! He wouldn't show me the reasons along the way or I probably wouldn't have learned the right lessons. But at the right time, the Holy Spirit let me see how what I saw as chaos was actually him working to create order.
 

At the beginning of Jesus' ministry, the Spirit drove him into the desert (see Mark 1:12).

At the beginning of my ministry career, the Spirit drove me into desert as well. And now at a new beginning in our Diocese, the Spirit is once again driving us into a desert experience. We're in uncharted territory. At times it feels like an impossible task amidst chaos. The desert experience isn't ever comfortable, but it's also difficult for a purpose. I, for one, am excited to see what the Holy Spirit does through the On Mission process. I've read about it in the Scriptures my whole life. I've lived it in my own ministry these last ten years. I fully expect to see the same activity of the Spirit in our Diocese.